imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead:

i bought a plant yesterday

i figured that i could set the bar low and eventually relearn the art of “affection” 

i named the potted plant laura 2 

i woke up this morning and found nothing but a mess of soil and a note that said “OFFICIAL IOU: thnx 4 the weed bro” in scott’s handwriting 

i’m not sure if i’m more upset over losing laura 2 or the fact that scott can’t decipher between cannabis and premature hydrangeas 

we must be killers

dylanorly:

_{#oops my hand slipped}

soaringrachel:

sea-change:

they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.

(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)

#the long version of this story is actually much better #because scott asks hemingway to have lunch with him and the first thing he says to hemingway when they’re there is ‘so you know how i’ve … #…never slept with anyone but zelda’#hemingway is like #…what #scott says so i was fighting with zelda the other day and she told me i wasn’t …adequate #hemingway is like … #…OH #he says: scott let’s go into the men’s bathroom #they go into the men’s bathroom #they come out of the men’s bathroom #hemingway says scott you are PERFECTLY FINE #scott is all B BUT WHY WOULD ZELDA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAAAAAT #hemingway just. does not comment on zelda fitzgerald. #(that’s a fucking lie hemingway comments so hard on zelda fitzgerald) #scott says WELL I STILL FEEL BAD #hemingway says OKAY FRIEND HERE IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO #WE ARE GOING TO GO TO THE LOUVRE #AND YOU CAN LOOK AT ALL THE COCKS YOU WANT #OKAY???? #scott is like …sniffle; okay #they go to the louvre #scott feels even worse #hemingway kind of sees his point #he says ‘look scott do you want me to just give you some fucking tips’ #scott is all …yes #hemingway gives him some tips #which according to his memoirs include ‘the trick with the pillow’ #and much much more #and well zelda and scott stayed married

 

snapchatting:

this is very important

My brother is getting upset over text because my town in animal crossing is better than his 

loftwingfeathers:

nintybooty:

willyoucometowakemeup:

heroesofhyrule:

flanoirbunny:

1986:

“oh wow look at you what a cutie I’m gonna pinch ur cheeks”

1998:

“oh HELLO when did u get so hot damn boy I mean DAMN”

2006:

“OKAY THIS ISN’T EVEN FAIR NINTENDO STOp”

2013:

“ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME MIYAMOTO?”

WHY WOULD YOU SKIP SKYWARD SWORD LINK HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY

Wait I think you forgot one.

we don’t talk about him

1 Year of Gravity Falls - High-res

Super anxiety about going to work