i bought a plant yesterday
i figured that i could set the bar low and eventually relearn the art of “affection”
i named the potted plant laura 2
i woke up this morning and found nothing but a mess of soil and a note that said “OFFICIAL IOU: thnx 4 the weed bro” in scott’s handwriting
i’m not sure if i’m more upset over losing laura 2 or the fact that scott can’t decipher between cannabis and premature hydrangeas
they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.
(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)
My brother is getting upset over text because my town in animal crossing is better than his
“oh wow look at you what a cutie I’m gonna pinch ur cheeks”
“oh HELLO when did u get so hot damn boy I mean DAMN”
“OKAY THIS ISN’T EVEN FAIR NINTENDO STOp”
“ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME MIYAMOTO?”
WHY WOULD YOU SKIP SKYWARD SWORD LINK HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY
Wait I think you forgot one.
we don’t talk about him
Super anxiety about going to work